I used to be Anti-Facebook, before I joined and even after I joined, which I did solely out of ridiculous curiosity, the desire to look up and see an old boyfriend or 2 and of course FOMO, because let’s face it, back in 2009(the year I finally took the plunge) everyone was already all about using Facebook so I caved. I was sucked in right around the time I had my daughter, my baby of 4. I jumped in, I was teased by my close friends reminding me how I said I would never(my pattern in life,) I posted the obligatory family pic or 2 or 5, and that was about it. Well aside from the searching for the blasts from the past of course, otherwise known as Facebook stalking, but anyone and everyone has done that, even if they don’t admit it.
After a couple of weeks, a little stalking here and there, adding some friends, majority of the requests coming in to me, not me sending(more on that in a bit,) the novelty quickly wore off and my opinions, aka judgement, quickly returned and I was convinced I was right after all, Facebook is a colossal waste of time and why do I care that someone went to Starbucks, why am I seeing 12 pictures of their childs soccer game and does Susie really need to tell us what a bad day she had? I judged, that’s what I did back then, I judged. In case you don’t know, judging someone else takes all the attention off of me and my own crap, and boy do I now know that was my goal for a long time. Worry about what everyone else is doing so I don’t have to face my own life of problems. That blows up by the way, I don’t suggest trying it.
Oddly as time went on, literally up until 2016 to be exact, I would log on, I would scroll and look at peoples posts, I would even read what they wrote. Occasionally I would post some pictures, mostly of my kids of course, and over time I would see people posting articles(this was before the world of blogs was so huge) that I found informative and I actually started to look forward to my daily and nightly stalking and scrolling. Now to be clear, I didn’t write more than a few words when I rarely did a post. I didn’t send friend requests to people I just ‘knew” because I really did think this whole thing is so weird. I also didn’t comment on other people’s posts, maybe, just maybe I would ‘like” it, if I was feeling courageous and brave that is. As ridiculous as all of this sounds, and actually is, it’s all true. I had real issues with Facebook and not one of those issues were Facebook’s fault. Those issues were fully, 100% , all about me.
What happened next is not a coincidence, because I know there is no such thing. I ended up buying a skincare product from one of my nighttime scrolling (also known as numbing) moments back in 2014. This one spontaneous buying decision would lead me to a world of Facebook and social media I never dreamed possible, which was all a divine set up by the way. Much more importantly it lead me to discover a whole lot about myself, the biggest being my hidden insecurities and fears. In 2016, I made another spontaneous decision to start a business that primarily uses, you guessed it, Facebook, as it’s way to market and brand. Remember I said, spontaneous decision. It’s important to note, I fully bought into this business, I fully understood the potential for the future, I had full belief in the brand, but all that being said I went in thinking, I will do ALL things I am taught to do, except one, I will not be that person who posts all over Facebook.
Thank goodness I listened to God’s nudges even before I had a clue what a God nudge was. I quickly went from thinking I knew more, being un-coachable and straight out stubborn to maybe I should listen, these women seem super smart and maybe I need to learn a little bit and get to work. That was 3 years ago. I am a whole new me and that whole new me, who hated social media, teaches and trains on the positive power of social media, it’s branding capabilities and how it can and should be used as an incredibly positive force in our lives. Below is what I know about why I thought I ‘hated’ it and why in no way, whatsoever, is that at all Facebook’s fault:
- I didn’t post because I was scared to death of being judged by others just like I was judging them
- I didn’t post because I wanted only pictures of me if I looked ‘good enough’, which I rarely thought I did, so clearly, minimal posts
- I didn’t post because what if I looked stupid, sounded stupid or if someone didn’t like me anymore because of my post
- I didn’t comment on others posts because again, see point #3
- I didn’t send friend requests to people, because gasp, what if they rejected me and didn’t accept, that would mean they didn’t like me, wouldn’t it?
- Mostly, to wrap it up in a big bow, I didn’t post because I was an insecure person on the inside, wearing an armor of security and “I have it all” so bright and shiny really no-one and I mean no-one could see through it. So much so that even I had absolutely no clue. Until one day, in the midst of finding myself in my new business, I did.
It took Facebook, a divorce, an online business and a group of amazing, supportive women for me to uncover who I was, what I had been hiding behind and who I strived to become once I could shed all of that armor. The best thing that happened was that I had to use social media if I wanted my business to be seen. I literally had no choice but to face that fear if I wanted my business, my team, to become huge and to become a success. That was simply a no brainer, a non negotiable. If I wanted to connect with people I had lost touch with after college, marriages, babies and different cities took us in different directions? I needed Facebook. If I wanted to connect with like minded women who were also grieving the loss of a marriage, or that were exiting the corporate world and now staying at home or working from home? I needed Facebook. If I wanted to connect with the people in the world who inspire, who teach, who empower? I needed Facebook. At the end of the day, if I wanted to become the most authentic and real version of me, then I needed to embrace my fears, share about my fears, embrace my lack of vulnerability up until this point in my life and put myself out there…..yes, using Facebook.
It’s no secret that I now love and appreciate social media and the positive way in which many people use it. Not just mine, but other peoples social media. I love the good that social media has brought into my life. I love the connection point it serves for so many of us, for so many lives. My intent and my goal, every day, is to use it for good, to inspire, to encourage, to make an impact, to keep building a business and to connect. It can and does bring good into the lives of many. I was so quick to judge what I didn’t know and what I didn’t understand. Not just Facebook, but I handled all things that way, back in that part of my life. I was close minded, I thought I knew more than most people and I had a real need to be right. It’s funny how much I have learned to embrace the joy and growth that comes from being wrong. You will never know how much growth can come from embracing your fears unless you take the plunge and decide to do it. You will never know how many new connections and relationships can come into your life once you embrace openness and vulnerability unless you put yourself out there and try.
Yes, there is negativity in social media, it exists. But I choose to not engage, I don’t read it, I scroll past it or block or unfollow if it’s bad energy for me or it doesn’t serve my greater good and my greater purpose. I have found so much good, so much knowledge, so many friendships. I have friends back in my life I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for facebook. I would never know many of the people I know had it not been for Facebook. I wouldn’t have a flourishing and growing business had it not been for Facebook. I would not follow and learn from some of the best and the brightest in the self help arena had it not been for Facebook. I would not have discovered my love, passion and ability to write had it not been for Facebook. And I would not be able to do what I love the absolute most about my new life, and that is inspire and motivate others who enjoy what I write, what I share and what I have to offer. I am grateful to an online network that forced me out of my armor and helped me discover passion and purpose I didn’t know I had. It bears repeating, we judge and criticize that which scares us and that’s a dangerous zone to live our life in.